Back on track ...

Sorry i haven't written anything for ages!

i have had so much stuff going on that i couldn't be bothered writing it down but i still kept reading all your blogs! they are the perfect thinspo and i dont know why but they just keep me going!

School has been the biggest stress! I have so much work to do!! not to mention friends and family problems ... but its the school finishes at the end of this week and im determined that my two weeks off are going to make me work harder and lose more. Lately i have just been going along at the same pace, its frustrating. usually a coffee in the morning ( one or two hours late to school lol) a piece of fruit at lunch time and dinner with the family (but eating half what everyone else does) and between an hour or 2 of exercise. like i said ive been focused on school and family and stuff but i need to do better (and i will over break).

today was alright i had two tablespoons of musli and half a small green apple (i manged to get out of eating dinner with the family). I think i might have a green tea soon though.

Another reason i can't wait for holidays is there are gonna be some good parties! like the last 2 weeks there has been basically nothing on - i guess cause the weather is so shit (it is winter here)and everyone has heaps of work and stuff. so yea can't wait ... this sat is going to be AMAZING :)

Unfortunatly i have to work on friday night but im going to go shopping saturday and out saturday night so thats something to look forward to.

Stay strong ...
and keep writing!
xx

a little bit of thinspo ...

i just thought i would share a few photos of Willa Holland who is my favourite thinspo (atm)

it was hard chosing just a few photos but i couldnt be bothered puting them all up

but just let me know if you liked these photos and i can put up some more!x

growing up and trying my best to move on ...

im not going to go to my dads party this weekend. i turned 17 a little while ago and i realised that lived through 17 horrible years of my life controlled by him and that i can no longer go on like this. i keep thinking that something will change and he wont want to be in my life ... but realistically it could be years till i can get away from him (if i keep living my life like this) and it has already been 17 years and nothing has change really. its scary realising that my life has/is been controled and that maybe if my dad wasnt around i would be happy?

so one night when i couldnt sleep i decided that im going to have to change it myself. i think that not going to his party is a good first step. reading this you probably think that not going to his party is not a big deal but it will be for him. dont think that i am not afraid to stand up to him because i am and i do it all the time but its just that he always ends up minipulating me into what he wants. but not this time. my friends are planning on distracting me. we are going out friday night and i will stay at one of their houses and then probably going shopping and going out again saturday night.

my dad will go PYSCHO. i don't know what he will do though and that kind of scares me.

im planning on as much alcohol or drugs i want ( not food though, the alcohol has enough calories even though i will probably vomit it all up), i think i deserve it.

x